About 10 years ago I was in a place where all of my relationships sucked. I was “hanging out” with a guy who was a friend but neither of us wanted a relationship with each other, or with anyone else. I didn’t want to date because I felt I was too selfish to be in a good relationship. Instead, I was putting all of my energy into this friend and felt like crap about myself.
My mother criticized me daily about how terrible of a person I was and how nothing I did was good enough. I was afraid to get too close to people because I didn’t want to hurt them with my selfish and terrible ways. I was a caregiver for my elderly grandparents, watching the only people that I felt truly loved me decline in health daily. Pretty much everyone close to me criticized me and I thought it was what I deserved.
I wasn’t loving and respecting myself and so I was allowing others to be unloving and disrespectful. I thought I was broken and that I needed healing, so I sought out anything that promised me hope of feeling better about myself. I started meditating, seeing energy healers, going to healing events, going to church, reading anything that I thought would make me better and deserving of love, and watching videos.
I met new people and started to allow myself to be vulnerable. I opened up about how I was feeling. I started seeing myself as being love and loving others. I stopped allowing people to disrespect me. I spent less time with the guy and my mother. I didn’t spend time with anyone who didn’t value me. I made the choice that I would rather spend time alone than to be around people who didn’t think I was awesome. I started to love and respect myself above all else. I stepped into my power.
If you are in a place where everyone is treating you with disrespect and being unloving, know that you deserve better. Be willing to walk away. Start spending time with yourself and falling in love with yourself. Do whatever you need to do to feel good about who you are as a person and what you are doing. Take it step by step. The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. Once you get that on track, all of your other relationships will improve.
I created a course called Your Game of Love. It gives you all the habits and tools you want to change the relationship with yourself so that you can have great relationships with others. There is also a Facebook group where you can get support and answers to your questions. Right now it is only $9.99/month to get access to all of that. If you feel called, please join us by going here: www.yourgameoflove.com